Not Strong Enough
by Ethelwyn
Summary: This is kind of a song-fic that describes Dino's feelings for and about Hibari.


**A/N:** Hi there! This is something new I'm trying. When I heard one of my most favorite songs from Apocalytica again, I suddenly realized that this is the perfect song for how I see his early relationship with Hibari. It describes his feelings perfectly, I think. So, I sat down today and tried to explain his thoughts and feelings around the lyrics of the song. I'm not sure if it can be called a true song-fic but for lack of another term I'll stick to that. In a way this is me trying to find the right set of mind for the next project. For those of you following my works, the next big project is another cooperation with AdaraLove and it's going to be D18 and will be posted under her nick. So watch out for that ;D

As mentioned before this song is "Not strong enough" by the Finnish band Apocalyptica. They play metal with cellos. For the full experience you might want to check the song out, but take care to listen to the original version with singer Brent Smith as it brings across the feelings the best.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own KHR or any of the characters and I certainly don't own the song "Not strong enough". They belong to Amano Akira and Apocalyptica respectively.

* * *

_I'm not strong enough to stay away.  
Can't run from you  
I just run back to you._

Even though the plane was speeding over the clouds at 850 km/h (530mph), it still felt way too slow to Dino. His eyes flitted to his cell, somehow hoping it would light up and vibrate across the tiny table beside him. Of course it didn't. It never did. At least not with the caller ID he hoped for. Still, here he was on this non-stop flight to Japan. He wasn't invited. Was he even welcome? Dino had to wonder about that.

_Like a moth I'm drawn into your flame,  
You say my name, but it's not the same._

He had doubts about that. Kyouya never called him. It was always Dino making that first step, or Reborn for that matter. Kyouya never asked him to come. It was Dino himself eagerly jumping at any opportunity that presented itself. So what? Kyouya just wasn't the needy type and he liked that about him, didn't he?

Whenever Reborn called him to train Kyouya their fights were intense. There was this competition, this chemistry. Dino had never felt that with anyone else. For someone so young, Kyouya was incomprehensibly strong. Kyouya matched hit for hit. He never forgave the slightest falter in concentration, jumping on it and making you rue it heavily. Dino never escaped their encounters unscathed, but he wouldn't trade his wounds for the world. They were the reminder that kept the memories fresh of what happened after the fighting was over.

Dino could never stop himself. He just couldn't. Kyouya caught in the intricate loops of his whip. Skin, leather, more skin. "I'll bite you to death, Cavallone!" Every time. The sweetest threat. Why was it always Cavallone, never Dino?

_You look into my eyes I'm stripped of my pride.  
And my soul surrenders and you bring my heart to its knees._

Grey eyes shine with a dark blue fire. Passion. Dino is sure it's desire. It has to be. With the panting, the blushing, the rock-hard evidence, it has to be, hasn't it? It can't be hate. It just can't be. But no matter the doubts lurking in his mind trying to hold him back, Dino never stops. He can't. Kyouya is temptation incarnate. He'll never get enough of the sweet allure. Dino knows he shouldn't. Somehow, he knows. But his heart's desire overrides his mind's inhibitions each and every time.

_And it's killin' me when you're away, and I wanna leave and I wanna stay.  
And I'm so confused, so hard to choose,  
Between the pleasure and the pain.  
And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right.  
Even if I try to win the fight, my heart would overrule__ my mind.  
And I'm not strong enough to stay away._

How can it be wrong, when it feels so right? But Kyouya never says it. At least not in so many words. But there's the panting, there's the blushing, the oh so sweet noises. He has to enjoy it. Yes. He has to. He always leaves the creamy, pearly evidence to prove it to Dino. But he never says it. Not in so many words. Not in a gesture. Although there are gestures. There are bites and blows and kicks, but they are meant to keep the memories fresh, aren't they? Kyouya just isn't the cuddly type.

So, Dino leaves when his training job is done. There are doubts. Every time. But every time Reborn calls, he'll return. Every time there is a business trip to Tokyo, he will take his time for a visit in Namimori. He can't help himself, can never stay away.

_I'm not strong enough to stay away  
What can I do?  
I would die without you  
in your presence my heart knows no shame  
I'm not to blame  
Cause you bring my heart to its knees_

There are so many others where he lives. Men, women. He can choose. But no matter what Dino tries to distract himself, to find something that'll make him forget, there is nothing. The steel grey eyes, the blushes, the panting lace his dreams, follow him into his days. They build. They overwhelm him until it hurts to be apart from the one Dino knows can make him feel better. Sometimes he tries. He waits. Until it becomes unbearable. Always, he surrenders in the end.

_There's nothing I can do  
My heart is chained to you  
And I can't get free  
Look what this love's done to me_

And here he was. Once again. His eyes flitted to the cell. It didn't light up. It never lit up with the caller ID he hoped for. Nonetheless the plane sank. It was getting ready to land. It was not going fast enough. Dino couldn't think of anything else but the grey eyes, the panting, the blushing. This time he had kept his distance for a full three month. It hurt badly.

There were doubts. He knew what he did might be an abominable sin. Sometimes, when the doubts made it to the forefront of his mind, when he considered them, he despised himself. But always, always his heart won over his mind. Kyouya was so incomprehensibly strong. He would fight him more vigorously, wouldn't he? He wouldn't let him do it. No. Surely, he wouldn't. "I'll bite you to death, Cavallone!" Every time, he says it. But still...

_And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right.  
Even if I try to win the fight, my heart would overrule my mind.  
And I'm not strong enough to stay away.  
_


End file.
